Thursday, September 30, 2004

6 months, 16 days and counting

Something that I heard in a Ray Charles song that I needed to share with you all:

"The high cost of living doesn't bother me
As long as my baby's lovin' is tax free"

I'm willing to bet you'll never see that itemized in a 1040 form.

-D out.

Friday, September 24, 2004

Creativity's bane

Smilies.

I hate those things.

Seriously.

I remember it was about 10 years ago when I first saw them on the old BBSs I used to cruise at the time. At first, I thought it was a simple way to get a get a general feeling across to whoever saw it. You know, like:

:) = I'm happy
:( = I'm sad
;) = I'm winking at you/I'm being sly
:P = I'm sticking my tongue out

Whatever, right? Oh, but if I only knew then what they would mutate into...

For a while they morphed into the round yellow face, and remained within the original idea: giving a general state of being or idea.

You see, I just saw an add for "10,000 FREE SMILIES!" What an abomination they've become. Now, instead of giving a general idea of how a person is, they've taken on a personality of their own. We have biker smilies, preacher smilies, Statue of Liberty smilies, ninja smilies, alien smilies and smilies sitting on the toilet. I even saw one of the damn things mooning me.

Now, if all I did was see ads for them, I really wouldn't take it too hard. But no, they've now infiltrated my e-mail inbox (another rant altogether), thus insuring that I will never rid myself of these monstrosities. Maybe if they served some kind of purpose, then I would deal, but they don't. I think they're actually helping retard the thinking/creative process. Let me give you an example:

Which is easier, saying "I feel such disagreement with you that I lower my trousers and flash my buttocks in your general direction as a sign of my repudiation," or pasting a smiley that moons you? The second one by far, correct? Now, which one shows more thought?

If you say the second one, may God have mercy on your soul. Sure, they say the same thing, but the written word carries with it tones and subtleties not found in .gif and .jpg files. Consider the above example. Could I not have said any of the following:

"Behold my posterior, and know that with it, I mock you."
"The fact that I wave my hindquarters in thy face gives testament to the fact that I art thou better, and thou will bend to that truth, lest it break ye."
"Your presence offends me so much, I will grasp my ankles and show my derriere to the world."
"LOOK AT MY ASS!!!"

You see, every phrase there, while saying the same thing, said it four different ways. Much more eloquent than some shoddy smiley.

-D out.

Monday, September 20, 2004

Disappointment

I hate to disappoint you, but I have nothing to say that you haven't already heard before. I'm pretty sure everything that's been born of the neurons of my grey matter has been said before, probably by men of more import or greater worth or higher virtue than I. You won't find anything new here. In fact, I've already fallen upon repeating myself. The first three sentences in this entry (and this entry being my first) have said the exact same thing.

Here's a hint: everyone else is just like me in this regard. Every blog you come across, every article you read, any book you peruse while waiting for the train, any talk radio that plays in the background at your white collar job will be just like mine. Everything that could have been said has already been said.

And with that, welcome.