The Top Ten things I would do if I were to die tomorrow.

10. Find the person responsible for The Surreal Life, and then hit
repeatedly. In the face. With my car.

9. Attempt to consume my body weight in burritos in one sitting.

8. Give back all that money to the orphanage.

7. Reminisce on how good my life could have been, had I been in
possession of a flamethrower.

6. Give back all the orphans to the orphanage.

5. Fondue forks for everybody!

4. Prove that it really is better to light the candle from both ends.

3. Coat the floor of an ER with cooking grease.

2. Release 250 raccoons onto the floor of the Senate during a filibuster. One of them would be rabid.

1. Two words - Apocalypse: Hollywood.

-D out.