Changing gears.

So, I had this plan for the rest of my life. Okay, okay, it was more like the next couple of years, but it was still both a plan, and covered a significant amount of my life here on Earth. But then
someone, who will remain ANONYMOUS, threw a monkey wrench into that plan. Gears were broken, cogs bounded away in new lives unencumbered by the plan, springs snapped, and the intricate system of pulleys and levers that was "the plan" came crashing down. Okay, okay. I threw the wrench. I knew I was throwing it. I knew what throwing a wrench into my plan would do. Let's move on, shall we?

So I'm looking at what I now see as the rest of my life, or at least the next several dozen years, and I keep wondering, "Is this it?" I mean, is this what God has in store for me? Am I in control of my own destiny? I mean, I know what I am to do, and I have an idea of what I will do, and I have a fuzzy picture of how those two things will coincide with each other. But is this it? As I stand here, looking at what I think I can see, am I seeing that which I was called to do? What I was made for? Can I use this for the good that is far greater than myself?

It's odd. I really don't feel afraid. I think part of me should, or part of me wants to, but if what I can see now is anything near what will be, then God has blessed me far beyond my capacity for
understanding.

…

I think I'm going to sit down for a while.

-D out.